Medical Humour.. Umor medical

EN: Medical Humour

A medical Love Letter
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Hi Sweet heart,
How are your Anatomy and Physiology?
My Biochemistry is within normal limit.
I miss you like an ischemic heart misses it's blood supply.
I love you as much as the TB loves the apex of lung.
I care for you like the way I.V. Taxim & Metrogyl care for a post-operative patient.
I have implanted you in my S.A. Node.
Please don't be the etiology of my heart failure.
Miss you like ventilation.
Take care of your vitals.

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Question: Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color? (15 marks)

Answer: AMBULANCE has OXYGEN cylinder,
Oxygen is a gas,
GAS is used 4 cooking FOOD,
FOOD is source of VITAMINS,
WE get Vit-D from SUN,
SUN produces LIGHT,
LIGHT comes from bulbs,
Small BULBS are used to decorate CHRISTMAS tree,
CHRISTMAS means GIFTS,
GIFTS are given by SANTA,
SANTA lives in NORTH POLE,
NORTH POLE is the house of POLAR BEARS,
POLAR BEARS are WHITE..
That's why ambulance is WHITE...

Do not play with students feelings. They can write anything for good marks :)

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A man had to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.
"How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.
"That depends," said the salesman. 
"Let's see the cheapest model," he said.
The clerk put the device around the man's neck.
"You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.
"How does it work?" the customer asked. 
"It doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"

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Man: Doctor, my wife thinks she's a refrigerator! 
Psychiatrist: Don't worry, it will pass. 
Man: But, doctor, when she sleeps with her mouth open, that damn light bugs me!

RO: Umor medical

O scrisoare de dragoste medicala
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Buna inima mea,
Cum sunt Anatomia si Fiziologia ta?
Biochimia mea este in limita normala.
Mi-e dor de tine asa cum o inima ischemica ii este dor de o aprovizionare cu sange.
Te iubesc la fel de mult precum tuberculoza iubeste tesutul pulmonar.
Tin la tine asa cum I.V. Taxim si Metrogyl au grija de un pacient dupa o operatie.
Eu te-am implantat in Nodul meu S.A.
Te rog sa nu fii etiologia insuficientei mele cardiace.
Mi-e dor de tine ca de ventilatie.
Ai grija de organele tale vitale.

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Intrebare - De ce AMBULANTA este alba? (intrebare la examen, subiect de 15 puncte)

Raspuns: AMBULANTA are un cilindru de OXIGEN,
Oxigenul este un gaz,
Gazul este folosit pentru a gati MANCAREA,
Mancarea este o sursa de vitamine,
Noi luam vitamina D prin expunerea la SOARE,
Soarele produce LUMINA,
Lumina vine si din becuri,
Beculetele sunt folosite sa decoreze brazii de CRACIUN,
Craciunul inseamna CADOURI,
Darurile sunt aduse de MOSUL,
Mosul traieste la POLUL NORD,
Polul Nord este casa URSILOR POLARI,
Ursii Polari sunt ALBI..
Iata de ce ambulanta este ALBA..

Concluzie: Nu va jucati cu sentimentele studentilor. Ei pot sa scrie orice pentru o nota buna :)

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Un om dorea sa cumpere un aparat auditiv, dar nu ar fi vrut sa cheltuiasca prea multi bani.
- Cat costa? il intreaba pe vanzator.
- Depinde, raspunse acesta.
- Sa vedem cel mai ieftin model, spuse omul.
Vanzatorul aranjaza mecanismul in jurul gatului omului nostru.
- Introduci acest dop in ureche si duci firul in buzunar, ii oferi intructiuni.
- Si cum functioneaza? intreba clientul.
- Nu functioneaza, replica vanzatorul. Insa cand oamenii vor vedea toate firele astea, vor vorbi mai tare.

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Barbatul: Domnule doctor, sotia mea crede ca este un frigider!
Psihiatrul: Nu-ti face griji, o sa ii treaca.
Barbatul: Dar domnule doctor, cand doarme cu gura deschisa, ma deranjeaza lumina aia!